Our lives had become unmanageable

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Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered program that helps people struggling with addiction. While drugs, alcohol, and pornography are the usual addictions that come to mind it is common to find people hurting in numerous ways. As I have stated many times in other writings I feel there is a battle of good and evil being raged with the Devil having many tricks up his sleeves that he uses to ruin or make our lives miserable. Celebrate Recovery and similar programs addresses these issues.

The principles of Celebrate Recovery are based on the 12 step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. There are group meetings, sponsors to help you through the hard times, and 12 steps to study, comprehend, and commit to. Step one is:

  1. WE ADMITTED WE WERE POWERLESS OVER OUR ADDICTIONS AND COMPULSIVE BEHAVIORS, THAT OUR LIVES HAD BECOME UNMANAGEABLE

I have participated in Celebrate Recovery meetings over the years and worked my way “through the 12 steps”. In fact, for about a year I served as a counselor for a similar program even though I had was not completely “healed” myself.

It took me awhile and a few restarts before I accepted step one. I started thinking about getting sober back in 2008 and, in fact, I did so for a year and a half a couple of times but then I would slip back into drinking a beer now and then and would slip from there. 

A.A.’s states in its 12 Step Book “…few people will sincerely try to practice the A.A. program unless they have hit bottom.”

The term “hitting bottom” gets at the root cause of my problem as I have never really hit rock bottom. At least not in the way I have heard others describe. Nearly everyone who attends these meetings has a tragic story of how their life spiraled out of control due to increasing habitual consumption of alcohol (or other ailments). Some folks got DWI’s or even went to prison as their lives became unmanageable. Many lost their jobs and became divorced. They describe lives that were full of pain and struggle.

But my addiction, and I now confess to be addicted, has always been different. Yes, I have had moments where I drank to excess but for the most part I led a very normal and productive life. I succeeded at work and as a husband and parent of three kids, but in retrospect, now that I have been sober for many years come to understand that alcohol kept me from being the best person I could be. 

I have come to the conclusion I had a problem with alcohol and that alcohol is devious in an unsuspecting way. Alcohol is described as “baffling and cunning” which I believe is an accurate term. For me, it found a way that it could creep into my life and unknowingly become a problem that I was not really aware of.

Or perhaps I was but failed to accept.

But that time is over. I give in. I agree. And now by coming to acceptance I have moved on.

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